I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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