New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
