Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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