all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
