He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
