You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize