$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize