i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again