I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
