i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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