i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
