Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
