Your tits are I can't wait for
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
ttyl tear gas
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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