my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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