The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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