how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we're making bets on your personal life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
