Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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