.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
