That's intense
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
