Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize