We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and she was petting her beer can
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
