is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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