This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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