Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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