I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize