Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
