smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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