That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
