I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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