Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
