i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
