Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
