He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
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Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
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He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.