Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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  (615): In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky. http://tfl.nu/u0v1
  Replies (34) Good night (4182) Bad night (909)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos

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  (215): i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos http://tfl.nu/9f8x
  Replies (11) Good night (5466) Bad night (849)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (67) Good night (1709) Bad night (25923)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

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  (618): You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/feuh
  Replies (9) Good night (5219) Bad night (908)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is

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  (248): I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is http://tfl.nu/r4l9
  Replies (9) Good night (4301) Bad night (772)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2465) Bad night (821)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

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  (765): He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26. http://tfl.nu/98vv
  Replies (22) Good night (2231) Bad night (1002)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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  (630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3
  Replies (8) Good night (1269) Bad night (623)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.

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  (325): It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch. http://tfl.nu/t9k5
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (1135)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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  (910): A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart. http://tfl.nu/fy2b
  Replies (9) Good night (934) Bad night (453)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

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  (407): I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold http://tfl.nu/xl1f
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (505)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?

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  (815): holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas? http://tfl.nu/9590
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (373)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (395)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.

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  (315): Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men. http://tfl.nu/0oi0
  Replies (6) Good night (511) Bad night (212)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo

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  (610): As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo http://tfl.nu/nylc
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (230)

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