Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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  (215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69
  Replies (23) Good night (975) Bad night (4081)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers

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  (860): but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers http://tfl.nu/f9xh
  Replies (32) Good night (3010) Bad night (1268)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk

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  (757): I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk http://tfl.nu/n8jk
  Replies (19) Good night (6890) Bad night (840)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool

  (386): View more from Florida

  It could be our claim to fame

  (904): View more from Florida

  Done. I'll pack a cooler.

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  (904): And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool (386): It could be our claim to fame (904): Done. I'll pack a cooler. http://tfl.nu/te4d
  Replies (10) Good night (3679) Bad night (879)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

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  (508): You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper" http://tfl.nu/17it
  Replies (22) Good night (1361) Bad night (3342)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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  (507): You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!" http://tfl.nu/pues
  Replies (7) Good night (3626) Bad night (852)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.

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  (321): I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one. http://tfl.nu/vil5
  Replies (15) Good night (5946) Bad night (1388)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.

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  (508): new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row. http://tfl.nu/sqmw
  Replies (9) Good night (4829) Bad night (1531)
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  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (860) Bad night (2505)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.

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  (979): Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction. http://tfl.nu/hu5n
  Replies (11) Good night (4066) Bad night (930)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.

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  (734): Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out. http://tfl.nu/s89t
  Replies (9) Good night (3768) Bad night (747)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (925) Bad night (608)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

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  (870): When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody. http://tfl.nu/gc8j
  Replies (5) Good night (426) Bad night (348)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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  (206): I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra. http://tfl.nu/2ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (412) Bad night (514)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Only you could get away with that.

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  (940): I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win. (682): Only you could get away with that. http://tfl.nu/0z6o
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (301)

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