I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
