Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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