I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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