I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
