I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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