i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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