Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Randomize
