the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
