I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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