Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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