I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
