It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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