ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Floor bacon is actually really good
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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