She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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