Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
