i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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