so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize