did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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