I want to stick my p in your. b.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize