Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize