im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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