She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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