So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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