Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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