I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
