There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
