whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
