whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
